Professional Ballet Dancer.
Actor, Poet, Writer, Musician, Thinker, Lover.
Let's be friends.
Without you, my bed feels giant.
I am listening to a CD you made me.
The wind cuts in through my open window.
My outstretched arm skims along the air.
I swear I can hear you singing along with me.
I can’t remember your shoe size anymore
And I never got too good at tracking to follow your footprints
So instead, lead me on a wild goose chase
I want to feel sixteen again.
When you left
I started falling out of feelings.
I gave you that one.
I am up far too late
And far too often
To have not counted the stars by now.
I am finding it more difficult to hold my head up these days.
I follow a maze of carpet to concrete, counting the cracks in the pavement.
My tongue presses against the roof of my mouth to concentrate.
And still I can’t make sense of it all
I watched heartbreak spread like wildfire
Scorching and charring
Trying to pry the joy from our hearts
I’ve grown too accustomed with holding broken brothers
Too comfortable with tear-stained t-shirts
Too familiar with sleepless nights
I squeezed my dreams, wishing to hold on to a world where you still exist.
Where I can still hear the sound of your breath
Where you bombard my senses, instead of my memory
Because my memory is flawless when it comes to the shape of your smile
So I’m dragging my heels, remembering the footprints you left on my life
My kidneys are filtering sadness
My lungs are breathing in oxygen and breathing out hope
I need silver linings to rainclouds, instead of just darkness
Take me away from here
The air still sounds like your laughter some days.
I catch your eyes sneaking a glare
Stinging me, like a mosquito
Leaving little bits of poison
Making me itch
I squeezed my dreams as hard as I could, hoping to hold on to a place where you still existed
You feel like a split-second
A quick smile
A secret wave
I almost miss your looks
But always catch them at their finale
For just a split-second
So I’ll start tattooing tally marks
Counting the moments I forget to breathe
Your eyes have that effect on me
My mind becoming a paintbrush
Longing for the perfect shade
Only you offer
Gemineye- “Penny For Your Thoughts”
I like the way a whiskey and coke tastes when the ice has melted
I like the way my fingers smell after playing guitar for a while
I like the way my old baseball glove fit
I like stale smoke on peacoats
Warm exhales on cold mornings
The subtle wink
And I realize I’m particular
And some people find that particularly annoying
But I’m tired of being shackled by social norms telling me that the size of my car’s engine and my penis somehow correlate
That if I’m not a suit and tie, nine to five man, I’m unmotivated
That I should care about anyone with the last name Kardashian
That kissing ass is a way to get by
Kiss my ass
Kiss my ass because I like to live paycheck by paycheck
Kiss my ass because settling down and popping out twins is something I don’t want for a while
And that’s okay
That’s what makes us all beautiful
So even if you don’t like it when your whiskey and coke’s ice has melted
Drink with me
Great with words
But horrible with actions
Proficient at explosions
But lacking in reactions
Taking time to ignore the issues
And tread lightly on broken lightbulbs
I crushed the idea of you
With my size 10 shoes
And sunk a few more inches into my guilt
Apologies don’t justify actions
Cyclical patterns traced deep in my heart
I know this feeling
I hate this feeling
I know you shake sometimes
And that’s okay
I want to be water when you’re hungover
Blankets when you’re cold
I want to be stable
You and you.
That’s all this became.
Sometimes the room feels warmer with you.
But You always felt so cold.
Goosebumps remind me of how You used to make me twitch.
And it’s funny how you looked at me for a brief moment.
Like You didn’t exist.
I was the only one in the room.
That’s how it feels.
Like I’m the only one in the room.
Staying up for You.